Drift

New sleeping arrangements



B's horse



Abyss



Still an album that I get chills from, the music, lyrics and artwork fit together so well. One of my favorite hardcore albums of all time.

The Garden of Eden without an Eve.

I wander alone seeking serenity.

Enveloped by the seductive mist.

As it permeates each bend and twist.

The branches make while they decree.

Blooming fruits of impurity.

Fog blankets thick over the green.

Morality abandoned under this canopy.

The promiscuous. Masked as romance.

With the breeze they sway and enticing dance.

The devil on my shoulder nods his head.

Where the angel should be is a mirror instead.

Mockingly, my conscience laughs at me.

Ashamed and weak I drop my leaf.

The decay of my dignity.

Ashamed and weak I drop my leaf.

That humid jungle is my human struggle.

Sweat pours off my hollow flesh.

That humid jungle is my human struggle.

Puking my guts out, or at least what's left.

And I won't be controlled.

I'll put to rest this soul scraping forest.

I'll put to rest this soul

-Shipwreck A.D. - Helix-

One Year Later

It still lives



And she is STILL in my life...



A present from Chip Chip



Romantic Movies Featuring A Strong Female Lead

The kind of movies that Spraynard loves

Great weekend!

I've spent so much time imprisoned in my mind,

told to shut up and sit down, to close my eyes.

I've realized what they've done to me,

trying numbing me from the pain of the world.

It's everlasting, it'll never go away,

it'll never change, not today.

Even sheltered lives can't hide from not feeling alive

it's like throwing knives and my mind.

It's like stabbing out my eyes.

I mean every word that I spit, it comes from the darkness of my mind.

It comes from the pain inside. I feel it all the time.

Nothing will ever change, you can't change the hatred that I feel.

That's a power of mine and I've realized I'm done decaying inside.

I want to see better days. I want to see hope in things.

I want to see a different way, to make the pain go away.

I'm taking my life back, it's mine.

-The Carrier - Alcatraz-

Redemption Denided

1.) I know, I have bad grammar.
2.) This is not directed to anyone in particular.

So I was talking to a "friend" earlier today and she was telling me how she got this new boyfriend a few months ago and they are planning on getting married soon. She is 19, he is 32. I am not going to talk about how fucked up the age difference is but the fact that she is 19!! I don't get it. I don't know if I will ever get it and I don't know if I ever want to get it. I am 20 years young and find it hard to even make a girl my "girlfriend" because of how annoyed I will become with that person let alone even entertain the thought of marriage. I don't understand how someone could EVER think that at such a young age it is a good idea to get married. This isn't directed just at my "friend" above but anyone I have ever met that thinks that at this age it is a good idea to move in with a significant other and get that "serious" with them. (Yes, I live with two couples that are my age but it is for the summer and the guys are not on the lease so it is really just like a 3 month long slumber party.)

I don't know, maybe it is because almost every girl I have ever encountered are incredibly insecure and might legally be retarded and it is too easy to exploit that.(It has become a game between me and my friends really) It is sad to me that I can't remember the last time I sat down with a girl that I could be interested in and have an intelligent conversation. Every girl around me just talks about their drunk stories and how funny it was when they went to some show completely wasted and then they feed me the same old bullshit that I have heard roughly a million times about how they are not a slut and believe in monogamy but are pissed off at me at the end of the night because I have convictions and morals that I stick to and refuse to fuck their skanky ass the first time anything happens. Sorry I am not a piece of shit. The only thing these girls have going for them is that they are 98.6 degrees and have two wet holes. It might be wrong to say that but it is the truth! Not smart, not fun, not interesting, and some of them are not even that attractive.

At the same time without these girls I would be lost because I hate 'dating' someone. When I do, I am miserable, and become bored very fast. Even my friends say it is like the life has been sucked out of me. There is nothing like chasing after a girl but once she has been caught, I am over it. So it is fun to go after these mentally defective harlots so I can tell my friends the dumb shit they said to me so we can have a good laugh at them. Maybe it is heartless and I am sure some of them care about me, but I don't care. I am 20, and its funny! So fuck em.

Don't comment on this or give me your insight, because honestly I do not give a shit what you have to say. Any of you, friend or not.

HOLY SHIT! I just blogged about girls! I am going to go drown my faggot ass now!

All my life I relied on one thing and that one thing fucked me up even more

She is tempting and promises things that'll never happen of that I'm sure

Years I've wasted waiting for her to come through for me why was I so blind

Waiting innocently as time went on life's gotten worse my resentment's strong

Now I've smartened up I'm turning my back

I don't need her I gave her a smack

She failed me over and over again no surprise there she was never on crack

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her rope

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope

I'd have given her my heart and my dreams

She then strung me along threw away these years

Don't let that bitch take you for a ride like she took me

and took most everyone I know

So I've kicked the bitch to the curb

but in the end she's left me a bitter twisted motherfucker

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her rope

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope

-Blood For Blood - She's Still A Bitch-

This Is Letting Go

Circa 1992







I love buying healthy food!


Wart removal 101


Magic.

I should have fucking known, you are who you fuck.

And they called me a thief. they called me a thief.

Nothing more than a thief, open hands stretched out, begging you to take.

But all you did was steal. All you did was steal. See, we're all thieves.

We all stole. But only one gave it back.

And this is how it ends, this epic tale. This sad story. This tragedy.

Such a fucking waste of time that's never coming back.

But thieves don't take, they only steal. He never wrote a song for you.

Every word I wrote for You...now, this is all you get.

The music's getting louder, the feeling more familiar.

And you can look a thousand times, but it will never change.

I never thought this would be your song.

Fuck, I never thought this would be my song.

But thieves don't write songs, their victims write for them.

I've never fucking said it before. I've never fucking meant it more.

Fuck you. Fuck all of you.

-Killing The Dream - Thirty Four Seconds-

Hope Bound Heart

Some light reading



My life lately



Oh, and I am in love!

Have you ever felt so desperate? have you ever felt so dense inside?

Everything turns grey and desolate, everything feels weathered and fragile

Everyone you thought you loved, took you for a ride in a city called 'fucked'

And smashed through your dreams, head first down a one way street, singing

'I don't know where things went wrong for me', amidst nightmares by the fucking sea,

dancing at thirty three, wishing desperately for clarity

And this isn't how I pictured me, afraid to grow into the man I aspired to be

Everyday, this is why events unnerve me.

In the shadow of the greatest man, I feel naked, the lonely one, untouched by the rising sun

Desperation crashed down on me, endlessly I reach for nothing, amidst the waves of eternity.

I'm on my own against the world and I've never felt so fucking cold.

-Carpathian - Sun Heights-

You Think I'm Beautiful?

Shirtless Week





Finally saw this man



See ya later diet



Swift Justice


xRx video soon


:)



Let Me Ride



Perfection? I think so

Want a funny laugh? Go to this link

http://hangingwithmrcooper222.blogspot.com

When I look in the mirror I see:

A boy not a man

The son of a father I refuse to understand

The "brother" of a brother like a wound I neglect

The coward of a sister with the world I forget

The prodigal son, but I am yet to return

From a siege where I take refuge but I want to watch burn

Your lover, your companion, your champion, your friend

Forever by your side but not in the end

The fortunate son who dwells in the city,

With the poorest of the poor, still, I ask for your pity

And while there's a man who sleeps on the ice-cold streets

His godsend not in me, but in his cardboard: his sheets

Yet

I still see the same son.

-Have Heart - The Same Son-

True Till Death

It still means something to me.

I'm All Aces

Deal or No Deal

Late nights



No Love To Give



This might be wrong to put up here but I was amazed that someone would actually post this on facebook. WOW!

Everything has turned into a dream

It means so much to me

My friends, my crew my everything

Everything has become so real

This is all I need

You'll never know what is like

To have what we have

So fuck yourself up and forget everything

So fuck yourself up and go back once again

Now you go ahead and turn your back

Walk away run your mouth

You have no fucking idea

What this means anymore

This is mine

This is what I stand for

Straight Edge

-Down To Nothing - I'm So Lucky-

Spit My Last Breath

I love fortune cookies



We dress alike



And drink TOO much lemonade together


<3



Man Wrestling



This show was a blast!



New couch for a night

and a new friend


Like most things in this world



Busy week, kind of I guess. As busy as it can get. Still bummed about not hitting up Long Island but made some new friends and had some fun!



Two ways to choose,
On a razor's edge,
Remain behind,
Go straight ahead.
Room full of people, room for just one,
If I can't break out now, the time just won't come.
Watch me unwind.
Rejected and depressed.
Everything I am I hate.
Confused, directionless.
Knowing this is all we had.
Existing on best terms we can until
Death takes us from our own fucking hands.
But nothing can touch us now.
I tell myself that I know I don't want to be the man who tells stories
Of the all things that were ripped from my hands before I truly grasped them and I know if we shutdown in stages then let this be the last time
That I ever fucking gave a shit, with my head in my hands, I never meant anything more than this,
This is the story of permanence.
This is the story of unchained momentum
This is the story of everything, we ever wanted.

-Carpathian - Permanent-

Did This Band Change My Life?

YES.

6 Months

I love night walks in Edinboro

Join me?


We <3 Pie


But we <3 eachother more


Found my score to be funny

I took a walk through this city tonight

Retracing steps etched in my mind,

Of the darkest days that we survived

The troubled youth of suburban life

And at the heart of that beach town

I swore to you our innocence

All you saw was difference, afraid of change, afraid of ambition

Time wont wait for me

I wont live life, lost and confused

I'll find direction with or without you

Now bunked up on these hardwood floors

I'm past tired and sleep eludes me

The punk rock show still sweats from our pores

Our minds are racing and our bones are still shaking

And we all can't sleep tonight knowing tomorrow we'll do it again

On the road in the AM, the rising sun fills the walls of the van

All the letters never sent

Because all my time was spent

On stories you'll never know

Written out of my mind

Guided by white lines on these endless roads

We have nothing in common with anyone

-Carpathian - Insomnia-

The Long Haul

But tonight after the show, everyone is hanging out at John's Pizza like usual and among the people there, there were a select few that I had the pleasure of spending 45 days with last summer.(Mark, Tyler, Shawn and Jason...Derek was not there sadly) But we were all telling our stories from last summer, about tour and hilarious things that happened and we noticed that a year ago exactly we were doing that exact thing, at John's eating shitty food after a show only this year we are not getting ready for a month and a half of tour. It sucks because it has been a year since I was truly happy I think. I mean I am happy right now but not like that. No care in the world except how long it was going to take to the next city. I just miss it! I had a blast and can't wait to do it again sometime!
June 6th - July 21st xRepresentx Summer Tour 08'


BUT!!!!

Me and this man got to hangout! Stoked on that!

Whitey AFB and Tony!!


Sadly, some dillhole I live with did this and didn't fix it

In this heartless world, there is nothing left inside.

It's hard to put your faith in anything,

those who are close turn their backs in the blink of an eye.

Straight edge will remain a lasting constant until your last breath.

It'll never forget or outgrow, time to show it the same respect.
Don't call me drug free.

There's nothing more worthless than a noble cause without actual conviction.

The way that I've decided to live my life cannot be lessened or brushed aside.

And if you choose to live against, don't leave any room for a change of heart.

Realize straight edge is a life long pledge, and never accept and fucking different.
Accept the truth, or accept you're weak.

It's fucking sink or swim, black and white. No in between.
I'll spell it out so there's not fucking mistakes.

You are here for life, otherwise you're a fake.

Dropping the label's only a matter of time before your lack of commitment comes to surface.
Don't say you're straight edge

unless you know you can make it, and you're in it

for the long haul.
-xRepresentx - The Long Haul-

VIVA

I have had a lot on my mind recently. I just found out news that could possibly change my life forever for some shit I did a year ago! I follow the blog of the singer of the band Carpathian and I feel like I can relate to not only the lyrics he writes but his life in general. He is in debt, living in a ghetto barely making it. I am still sleeping on a couch (granted it isn't in a ghetto) living out of a bag with just enough money to get by. Since Spring maybe even mid Winter I have done nothing but be pissed off. Hating myself and everything around me, but at the same time I have felt my best. I am all alone but surrounded by the greatest people in the world. It is weird to be at rock bottom and at an all time high in the same day. I don't know where or what I will be doing in 3 months. I don't know what I even want anymore but I do know that I wouldn't trade any of these memories for anything else. Rollins said it best and maybe it is time I go break my nose on "The Terrirtory" and get a few more stories.

Bought some paint



While you are at your 9 to 5

I wonder if this is what it's like to be a seventies kid?

Standing at the edge of the world, screaming

"I just don't feel like growing up today"

This whole city in shades of panic and pantone

We're on the run again this feeling in our bones

We're so fucking high and tonight's the night.

We slept through nine to five, now we're doing it right

I've never felt so alive with my crew at my side

I'm a fucking criminal, and paintings my crime

I've fucked this whole city one wall at a time

On the fucking run again

This feeling in our bones

I wonder if this is what it's like

To be a seventies kid?

-Carpathian - Seventyk-

Holding Hands Is For Girls

But I still enjoy it!

I have been told it is funny I enjoy to cook and bake but I really do love it. Even if it is something simple.







Dinner for me and my friends!

Come over sometime and let me cook something for you!

Excuse me - Scumbag!

Saturday night and we're ready to go

Grabbed some 40's on the way to the show

Parking lot pimpin' everything's all right

Slammed a pint of jack and we're ready to fight!

Don't fucking fight - lets party tonight!

If you're straight edge don't worry, hey, i'll buy you a sprite!

Don't fucking fight - lets party tonight!

Fuck it!

Saturday night and we're ready to go

Grabbed some 40's on the way to the show

Parking lot pimpin' everything's all right

Took a gram up my face and i'm up all night

Don't fucking fight - lets party tonight!

If you're straight edge - don't worry, i'll buy you a sprite!

Don't fucking fight - lets party tonigiht.

-Hoods - Don't Fight, Lets Party Tonight-