Drift

New sleeping arrangements



B's horse



Abyss



Still an album that I get chills from, the music, lyrics and artwork fit together so well. One of my favorite hardcore albums of all time.

The Garden of Eden without an Eve.

I wander alone seeking serenity.

Enveloped by the seductive mist.

As it permeates each bend and twist.

The branches make while they decree.

Blooming fruits of impurity.

Fog blankets thick over the green.

Morality abandoned under this canopy.

The promiscuous. Masked as romance.

With the breeze they sway and enticing dance.

The devil on my shoulder nods his head.

Where the angel should be is a mirror instead.

Mockingly, my conscience laughs at me.

Ashamed and weak I drop my leaf.

The decay of my dignity.

Ashamed and weak I drop my leaf.

That humid jungle is my human struggle.

Sweat pours off my hollow flesh.

That humid jungle is my human struggle.

Puking my guts out, or at least what's left.

And I won't be controlled.

I'll put to rest this soul scraping forest.

I'll put to rest this soul

-Shipwreck A.D. - Helix-

One Year Later

It still lives



And she is STILL in my life...



A present from Chip Chip



Romantic Movies Featuring A Strong Female Lead

The kind of movies that Spraynard loves

Great weekend!

I've spent so much time imprisoned in my mind,

told to shut up and sit down, to close my eyes.

I've realized what they've done to me,

trying numbing me from the pain of the world.

It's everlasting, it'll never go away,

it'll never change, not today.

Even sheltered lives can't hide from not feeling alive

it's like throwing knives and my mind.

It's like stabbing out my eyes.

I mean every word that I spit, it comes from the darkness of my mind.

It comes from the pain inside. I feel it all the time.

Nothing will ever change, you can't change the hatred that I feel.

That's a power of mine and I've realized I'm done decaying inside.

I want to see better days. I want to see hope in things.

I want to see a different way, to make the pain go away.

I'm taking my life back, it's mine.

-The Carrier - Alcatraz-

Redemption Denided

1.) I know, I have bad grammar.
2.) This is not directed to anyone in particular.

So I was talking to a "friend" earlier today and she was telling me how she got this new boyfriend a few months ago and they are planning on getting married soon. She is 19, he is 32. I am not going to talk about how fucked up the age difference is but the fact that she is 19!! I don't get it. I don't know if I will ever get it and I don't know if I ever want to get it. I am 20 years young and find it hard to even make a girl my "girlfriend" because of how annoyed I will become with that person let alone even entertain the thought of marriage. I don't understand how someone could EVER think that at such a young age it is a good idea to get married. This isn't directed just at my "friend" above but anyone I have ever met that thinks that at this age it is a good idea to move in with a significant other and get that "serious" with them. (Yes, I live with two couples that are my age but it is for the summer and the guys are not on the lease so it is really just like a 3 month long slumber party.)

I don't know, maybe it is because almost every girl I have ever encountered are incredibly insecure and might legally be retarded and it is too easy to exploit that.(It has become a game between me and my friends really) It is sad to me that I can't remember the last time I sat down with a girl that I could be interested in and have an intelligent conversation. Every girl around me just talks about their drunk stories and how funny it was when they went to some show completely wasted and then they feed me the same old bullshit that I have heard roughly a million times about how they are not a slut and believe in monogamy but are pissed off at me at the end of the night because I have convictions and morals that I stick to and refuse to fuck their skanky ass the first time anything happens. Sorry I am not a piece of shit. The only thing these girls have going for them is that they are 98.6 degrees and have two wet holes. It might be wrong to say that but it is the truth! Not smart, not fun, not interesting, and some of them are not even that attractive.

At the same time without these girls I would be lost because I hate 'dating' someone. When I do, I am miserable, and become bored very fast. Even my friends say it is like the life has been sucked out of me. There is nothing like chasing after a girl but once she has been caught, I am over it. So it is fun to go after these mentally defective harlots so I can tell my friends the dumb shit they said to me so we can have a good laugh at them. Maybe it is heartless and I am sure some of them care about me, but I don't care. I am 20, and its funny! So fuck em.

Don't comment on this or give me your insight, because honestly I do not give a shit what you have to say. Any of you, friend or not.

HOLY SHIT! I just blogged about girls! I am going to go drown my faggot ass now!

All my life I relied on one thing and that one thing fucked me up even more

She is tempting and promises things that'll never happen of that I'm sure

Years I've wasted waiting for her to come through for me why was I so blind

Waiting innocently as time went on life's gotten worse my resentment's strong

Now I've smartened up I'm turning my back

I don't need her I gave her a smack

She failed me over and over again no surprise there she was never on crack

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her rope

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope

I'd have given her my heart and my dreams

She then strung me along threw away these years

Don't let that bitch take you for a ride like she took me

and took most everyone I know

So I've kicked the bitch to the curb

but in the end she's left me a bitter twisted motherfucker

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her rope

I've been dragging a bitch called hope

I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope

-Blood For Blood - She's Still A Bitch-

This Is Letting Go

Circa 1992







I love buying healthy food!


Wart removal 101


Magic.

I should have fucking known, you are who you fuck.

And they called me a thief. they called me a thief.

Nothing more than a thief, open hands stretched out, begging you to take.

But all you did was steal. All you did was steal. See, we're all thieves.

We all stole. But only one gave it back.

And this is how it ends, this epic tale. This sad story. This tragedy.

Such a fucking waste of time that's never coming back.

But thieves don't take, they only steal. He never wrote a song for you.

Every word I wrote for You...now, this is all you get.

The music's getting louder, the feeling more familiar.

And you can look a thousand times, but it will never change.

I never thought this would be your song.

Fuck, I never thought this would be my song.

But thieves don't write songs, their victims write for them.

I've never fucking said it before. I've never fucking meant it more.

Fuck you. Fuck all of you.

-Killing The Dream - Thirty Four Seconds-

Hope Bound Heart

Some light reading



My life lately



Oh, and I am in love!

Have you ever felt so desperate? have you ever felt so dense inside?

Everything turns grey and desolate, everything feels weathered and fragile

Everyone you thought you loved, took you for a ride in a city called 'fucked'

And smashed through your dreams, head first down a one way street, singing

'I don't know where things went wrong for me', amidst nightmares by the fucking sea,

dancing at thirty three, wishing desperately for clarity

And this isn't how I pictured me, afraid to grow into the man I aspired to be

Everyday, this is why events unnerve me.

In the shadow of the greatest man, I feel naked, the lonely one, untouched by the rising sun

Desperation crashed down on me, endlessly I reach for nothing, amidst the waves of eternity.

I'm on my own against the world and I've never felt so fucking cold.

-Carpathian - Sun Heights-

You Think I'm Beautiful?

Shirtless Week





Finally saw this man



See ya later diet



Swift Justice


xRx video soon


:)



Let Me Ride



Perfection? I think so

Want a funny laugh? Go to this link

http://hangingwithmrcooper222.blogspot.com

When I look in the mirror I see:

A boy not a man

The son of a father I refuse to understand

The "brother" of a brother like a wound I neglect

The coward of a sister with the world I forget

The prodigal son, but I am yet to return

From a siege where I take refuge but I want to watch burn

Your lover, your companion, your champion, your friend

Forever by your side but not in the end

The fortunate son who dwells in the city,

With the poorest of the poor, still, I ask for your pity

And while there's a man who sleeps on the ice-cold streets

His godsend not in me, but in his cardboard: his sheets

Yet

I still see the same son.

-Have Heart - The Same Son-

True Till Death

It still means something to me.